Monday, March 16, 2009

Do's and Don'ts

This is my 4th post today so I have done some updating on random BS below.

Here are some things that you should not be doing and if you do, you should quit doing them immediately.

Instant message typing-
1) I don't like when people use r, u , or 2 instead of are, you or two. It's not that hard to type a few extra letters and you don't look like you never went to grammar school.
2) Don't spell words with extra letters. If you really like something you really like something you don't reeealllllly like it. This makes it look like you are either way to excited or your letter character is getting stuck to the keyboard.
3) I don't mind not capitalizing things or punctuation so no need to worry about that.

Running Outside - Now that it's nice outside people feel this urge to exercise, mainly run outside. My guess is they won't do it often but lots of noobs venture outside when the weather turns.
1) Don't run on crowded streets. Seriously stay off of market street or any other main street. Crowded areas where there are a lot of cars don't do well with pedestrians. Pick a park or trail. This goes the same for bikers. I know your bike isn't very wide but that doesn't mean it's safe to drive in between two lanes.
2) Don't run in place. This makes you look like a fucking idiot. Seriously. If you have to stand still for 30 seconds for a light to change green just wait there and stretch your legs if you are looking for something to do. No one cares about your heart rate, just stay still.

Gerald told me 2 things that put him on life tilt.
1) People who take the elevator from floor 1 to floor 2. I agree, stop being a fat ass and use your legs to walk up some steps. This why America is obese because people are too lazy.
2) People who walk to slow on the sidewalk are oblivious to the world and we should put them in their own bubbled world. If you are fat, slow, or stupid you should be walking into oncoming traffic and not on everyday sidewalks. I get put on life tilt as well when I have to move into hyper stride to pass tortoises on the sidewalk. Believe it or not, people have other things to attend to other than what the next flavor of ice cream they are going to eat is.


I'm sure this calls out a couple people but it's not personal and I hardly mean anything by it, it's just a joke so don't freak out and think i'm calling you retarded. I do idiotic stuff on a daily basis so you aren't alone. (ha, yeah right)

Sunday TV & Reading

Sunday TV is one of the only days I watch TV. I start with Rock of Love which is down to the final 4. The one girl ashley got booted and even though she was trashy she had big cans and was entertaining so it's too bad to see her go. The favorite Taya is still in it and how he could choose anyone other than the penthouse pet of the year is beyond me. I think it's sad that these girls have to pretend to like brett michaels but it entertains me.

Flight of the Conchords was pretty good. I can see how people would think this show is retarded but if you don't get the subtlety and the inside jokes you are missing out on a really good show. This wasn't one of the best episodes but still funny.

East bound and down is the new sleeper of the season. It's hard to say if it's good or not but I think it's character development is phenomenal. Cutler is easily my favorite character and stevie's infatuation with kenny is good to watch. Cutler fucking April was hilarious last episode and when Kenny was giving him advice on april after she got hit and he goes "what is going on here" or something like that to end it I had to laugh. The one thing that bothers me is Danny McBrides (kenny) inability to throw a baseball. He throws like a sissy faggot and no one would ever believe he can throw at all nevertheless 101 miles per hour. The eye seen made me laugh though.

I read Fahrenheit 451 and I must say that this is just not that good of a book. I'm going back and rereading some of these books they made us read in high school to see if I actually understand what they were teaching instead of just reading the cliff notes and hoping to pass the test. I finished the book in a couple of hours and I just don't see what makes this a classic novel.

Montag is shown how to think by a 17 year old girl. She has him starting to question things in life. He is married to a zombie, basically one of them (the general public). He witnesses some lady kill herself due to the power of books. His curiosity of what is in books starts to show. He meets Faber who tries to help him in his quest. He gets turned in by his wife for reading (i think) and gets reamed out Beatty who tries to convince him that books and thinking on your own are wrong. Montag burns Beatty to a crisp and goes on the run where he avoids the mechanical hound and finds a few intelligent people in the woods who may have to start a new society once the war annihilates society. There are some themes in the book but this is my basic rundown.

The book was written in 1950's and writes of a time sometime in the future 1990's+. This future consists of fireman burning books and general learning has been stopped. I suppose its the gov't way of censoring information from the public so that it can control them. It gives the idea that people would rather entertain themselves then to better society by learning and thinking. I think there are bigger ideas that I'm missing but oh well.

My brother has to read animal farm and amazingly it, along with 1984, were books I bought from Amazon so this will be the next book I read. Hopefully he lets me write his report and we can see what a 12th grade high school teacher gives a brilliant mind like mine on a paper. Just kidding.

Weekend Summary

Went to West Chester for the first time ever to see the bar scene. The bar was Barnaby's and all in all it was a pretty fun time considering the fact that I feel like an old man now at college parties. So I woke up at 930 or so pretty hung over and had to drive back to Manayunk to catch the train to 30th st to hit up the erin express. I breathalyze myself at a .29 before I've even started drinking at 11am. I'm not sure how accurate this thing is but I wasn't feeling sober I know that.

So I meet up with some people at 30th street and we have a few beers and then catch the bus to Cavannaugh's, I think. This place is a crowded shithole and I don't really see the allure. We end up going to another place or so but everything is crowded and everyone is obnoxious. So my friend and I go to a place on Oregon where his parents are at a wake for a broad. People are in suits and I'm wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Nevertheless we enter and find out it's an tab bar which basically means someone else is paying. So I have a couple beers and a shot of patron and they feed us some rigatoni and salad for free. After leaving there we go to manayunk and go some bars. It's about 8pm or so and I'm starting to fade so I go back and pass out to 11pm. I wake up mainly sober but not feeling like going out so I do something then listen to Dark Side of the Moon for 43 minutes. If anyone knows the other instrument in Money at around 3 minutes I'd like to know.

That pretty much summed up my weekend. I really didn't do anything crazy or black out and was pretty tame the entire time. My bad.

AC

Almost all poker post.

Jeff, my brother, and I decided to get a room in AC on Thursday night to mainly play poker. We arrive at 5 and get our comped room. We head to the poker tables and they start up a new 1-2 game. We are both at the same table along with 6 of the biggest fish the ocean has to offer. I sit playing tight until I pick up jj and make it 20 and everyone folds. A couple hands later, king kong to my right makes it 15 to go, I smooth call with KK a play I regret and get called by 2 others behind. Flop is 663 and kong makes it 30. I make it 100 and get two folders and kong folds tens face up, I show kings to sustain my solid image. I play pretty tight for a while until I limp 65 after a bunch of limpers and flop 578. A 9 on the turn gives me a straight. Kong makes it 20 on the turn which I only call. The river brings a 3 flush and i check to Kong who makes it 40. I'm pretty sure i'm beat considering Kongs hand is shaking ridiculously and I'm fairly sure he's got a big hand. Problem is with donks playing you don't know if they even know they have a big hand. So he proceeds to say that all he has is a little straight. I decide to call thinking we will be chopping and he shows jt to scoop, bad play by me. I play one more hand with a j2 diamonds and end up rivering a flush to put me up 80 or so for the session.

We go get Tony Lukes and then head to the bar to watch the Pitt game. They end up losing so we decide to play some more cards. I go to the room to put on some deodorant which I forgot to earlier and come back feeling good. I get put in a wild game with most people at the table drinking and looking for action. I open 66 utg to 15 and get a couple callers. Flop comes 56J with 2 flush cards. I check and crazy indian bets 20. I check raise to 60 and he comes along. Turn is an 8 and I go all in for his last 125 or so. He calls and I dodge the flush draw and pick up a nice pot. This puts me up 200+ in the first 15 minutes. I play ok but not really getting big hands or big action and I leave the table only up 100. I was watching the syracuse uconn game that went to 6 ot's which was entertaining.

I'm up almost 200 for the trip and decide to put 100 on a black roulette spin. I lost and then decide to go play a few hands of pai gow. That's really all it was a few hands and I dropped the 200 in half an hour maybe less. On the way back to the room I put another 100 on black to lose again. On my last 5 spins of my roulette life I've gone black every time and i have lost every time for a net loss of -1000.

We go to sleep and wake at 1030 or so and decide to play until 2 before we have to leave. They put us both at the same table and this is not the table you want to play at. The table is squeaky clean with little action and basically not a table you are going to win a lot of money at. I start off picking up AK and making it 15 pf. I get a caller on a K72 flop. I make it 25 and he raises to 50. I push for 250 or so and he mucks. In hindsight I wish I would have just called his small raise then check raised all in on the turn. I play fine for a while until some noob who i classify as a donk without even seeing him play sits down. I raise j9 sooted UTG and he calls. Flop is kk5 and I know I have to bet to win the hand so I bet 15 on the flop. He calls and then we both check the turn. I jack falls on the river and I call his all in for 24 more dollars and lose to AK. A couple hands later I limp K9 sooted in late position and we see a 9 high flop. Noob bets the flop. A 4 pairs the board and he bets 25 which only I call. The river is K and he checks and I bet 35 which he calls and then slowrolls AA on me. So this basically tilted me and I left the table. I put 20 on a horse at 1-2 and he lost and then blew 10 in the slots before we left. I dropped about 350 which wasn't awful but my luck in table games was atrocious and makes me wonder how rigged it really isn't.

Monday, March 09, 2009

2nd post

It's 2am and I can't sleep because I slept for 2 hours when I got home from work. I went to the gym and watched 24 today. I'll write about that later.

I think the worst thing in an economy like this is the feeling of not moving forward. It feels like I'm going to work to make less money, this happens when your self employed, and then the money I'm making I'm losing in stock positions. Obviously you can say well why are you being a jackass and keeping your money in stocks. Fair point but when the market makes a turn I'm not prepared to be on the sidelines. So this feeling is making me reconsider how I'm living life.

What really blows my mind about this time period though is that I'm not being completely irresponsible with my loot. No doubt about it I've blown cash in ridiculous ways (siri, ac, sportsbetting, the list goes on). However, the couple of "smart" moves I decided to make have completely backfired. I open up a Roth IRA 2 years ago. I contribute 4,000 AFTER TAX dollars. The portfolio lost 4,000 dollar last year. This was done by a financial adviser who I obviously trusted way too much.

I just don't know how much more of this people can take. I am debt free and single with no responsibilities and I feel effected by this to the point that I'm just scratching my head wondering where it will all end. What about the people who have kids and mortgages and have gotten laid off? And to top it off we have a president who believes it's a good idea to further tax the affluent and give to the needy. Let's just think about this for a second. The person who is running a business successfully, hiring employees and the basic life blood of our economy is getting their taxes hiked while some lady is giving birth to here 7th child so that she can collect more in welfare. I'm aware that increased taxes are spread out among various projects so no need to point this out.

You want to make more money in this time period so that you can give it to the gov't who will use it inappropriately. The gov't gives money to banks to "bail them out" and what do they do with it? They hire musicians for lavish parties and top notch hotel suites. The gov't doesn't even know where the money is going. We have all these stimulus's which is going to raise inflation and destroy the dollar. People who make bad decisions are getting bailed out (AIG, GM, C) but what's it all for?

What is happening reminds of me of the book Atlas Shrugged. Atlas is a greek mythology character who "supports the heavens." In the novel "Atlas" is referred to the people who run the world. Basically the smartest, most determined people who get things done the most efficiently. What happens is that the "gov't" (probably can use a better word) intervenes with the Atlas's of the world. They claim monopolies and implement rules that want to see everyone succeed rather than just the best. The Atlas's fight back and leave society forming their own. This is a pretty brief and I read the book about a year ago so my ideas may be off a bit but it relates to what we are going through.

The gov't is becoming a bigger engine and we are seeing capitalism disintegrate. The wealthy will continue to get squeezed until they can't take it any more and they will do something about it. You can only squeeze them so far before they do something. I just hope we can get out of this year without something drastic happening.

I'm trying to figure out how to be smart enough to make money using my money. If you were smart enough to short the Dow at 14,000 or short anything for that matter you would be sitting here much wealthier. So here we are again. Do I reset the tables and try again with a different approach. Start using covered calls or put everything I own into GOLD because I think the dollar will be worthless? I don't know the answers only that it's frustrating because I believe that there is money to be made.

A final thought to this ridiculously long rant which I'm fairly certain no one will read. I can take my money out of equities and keep everything in cash and earn .3%, and then you won't have to read about me complaining about how much money i've lose or how bad stuff sucks. But, who wants to save for all their life and never spend a dime so that one day they can say "wow look how much money I have, too bad I never got the chance to have fun and spend it."

I don't like Monday

Easily the worst day of the week. I spend Sunday's being a complete waste of life and then Monday's I feel awful and don't want to be productive. I drink 6 waters and piss like 5 times because I feel dehydrated. Basically a productive week for me would start on Tuesday because I can function at full capacity.

I haven't wrote a post in a while but I have good reason. It's because my life just isn't that entertaining that I can write something everyday. Technically, I could but then it would lose all purpose because it would be mindless drivel. However, I will post more for my legions of fans.

I didn't do anything of any consequence over the weekend, literally nothing. I watched Rock of Love Bus last night which I honestly think could be the best show on television. Once you get past the concept that he's 44 and none of the girls really like him they are just trying to win the contest, it turns into a great show. They all get hammered and make asses out of themselves. I assume the majority of the population finds the show lame but for whatever reason I find it entertaining.

I didn't bet on any games and lost a few hundred playing poker during some hungover 9 am sessions. I canceled my subscription to cardrunners but my login is still working so I've been watching a few of their videos to tune up my game.

Everything else is just blah. I wake up, go to work where things are slow as molasses, play some poker then do it again. I bought a couple of books off amazon to read, couple classics and a few others that I will finish as soon as they come in. I'm such a retard for buying books from Amazon when I'm aware of this building called a library where I could spend nothing and get the same value. Nevertheless, i've spent money on worse purchases than something that will keep me entertained for a while.

This weekend is st patty's day. I keep telling myself how good of an idea it is to take a weekend off from drinking but I just can't seem to fit it in. If I could wake up at 9 am on a Saturday morning feeling 100% I'm not sure what I'd do but it would be better than what I do currently (nothing). Obviously though this won't be one of those weekends.

A final note. I'm doing an experiment that will last till next Friday. If my posts start getting better as the week goes on then I may have stumbled across something, we'll see.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Monday

It's 1 am and I would consider this a pretty unproductive day. I didn't go to work due to the snow even though I probably could have if I wanted to. So I woke up at 830 and decided to "work."

I cashed in the sunday million on Sunday. Out of 8800 people I finished in 340th. The buy in is 215 so this ended up cashing for about $1000+. Sounds great but in reality I was already stuck about 500 so it's not an amazing feat.

Anyhow this rejuvenated by poker bankroll and I pretty much played all day today. I ended up giving back about 175 but thought I played well throughout the entire session which consisted of about 50 tournies.

If you don't have any money in equities than I honestly envy your approach. Whether your oblivious to the financial world or just don't participate, you are living a stress free life that I'm really starting to questions why I'm partaking in this. I keep telling myself I'm young and it will all work out but this is getting scary. We are hitting levels that were hit 10+ years ago. I'm not the most frugal person but times like these are causing me to take a step back and reevaluate how I want to invest my cash.

I went to the gym and did 4 miles in 25 minutes. Averaged to about 615 pace which is decent but I'll get down further once I start running outside. The stereotypes from my gym post are still prevalent as 2 fat ass broads are hogging machines oblivious to anyone else.

I watched Flight on Sunday which I thought wasn't very good. I watched Rock of Love Bus which is starting to turn me off. Plus I watched 24 today which is getting out of hand. I don't really see any need for analysis other than 24 is too much and I hope our gov't and fbi isn't taking any pointers from these clowns. Seriously if this is how shit gets done its no wonder our world is collapsing. Chloe and Janine Garofalo are easily the worst duo of actresses in history. Hard to watch.

That's all I got. I know this post was weak but I figure it's better than nothing. I'll do better next time.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Truth be Told

http://thegrip.wordpress.com/2009/02/26/sat-scores-vs-music-you-listen-to/

I know one Lil Wayne fan.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Delivering

Whenever I put the link up on facebook I have to expect more people than usual to read what I write. I usually kid around and write that my audience is single digits. However, I've had at least 5 people tell me that these posts are somewhat entertaining. Considering I'm sure there are a few lurkers out there, I may have just crossed into the double digit viewers. What this does is puts added pressure of making quality posts and not bs where Jordan Cohen tells me the post is unimpressive. (He'll probably bust a nut I mentioned him) So I sit here thinking about things to write about which will alleviate people from the boredom (this is why you're here right?). The problem is my life is just as boring as yours. I wake up tired in the morning. Complain about idiots I deal with at work. Then get a couple of hours of free time which I usually just waste anyway. So what am I supposed to write about?

I go out to dinner with my mom last night for our weekly or biweekly meal. We chat about work and money and other daily stuff. After two glasses of white zinfandel she asks me when an I going to get a girlfriend and all the other "you're 25 and it's time to grow up yada yada." I give her my usual I'm irresponsible and can barely take care of myself. I only have a year or two of partying without feeling like I'm way to old to hang out with the 21 year old bar crowd so let me enjoy my freedom while I can. She tells me that I should join a class that interests me so that I can meet people with similar interests. I say fine and we move on.

So I think to myself why would I want someone who likes the same things I like? Finding someone who likes to gamble and get completely obliterated on the weekends isn't ideal, hence why I don't bring people into my world. I have a list of things that I've done that are so ridiculous I can't believe I've done some of them. (Paul ((my uncles son, not sure what title that is)) if you are reading this lets not bring this up at family functions).

I didn't do anything stupid in all of high school, didn't even take a sip of beer. Second week of college when I was 17 I got my first underage after doing 5 beer bongs (total light weight) and stumbled into a cop. Only person to get a citation. I got frostbite after getting hammered and taking off my shoe to climb a fence on the coldest day of the year (long story with foggy details). I was driven home in the paddy wagon one night. I received a public drunkenness the night I faceplanted into the sidewalk.


I got caught pissing by the cops next to a wall at 3 in the morning when I decided to make a run for it. I ran up a hill in manayunk for about 800 yards before I got exhausted. I stopped in the middle of the street, saw the paddy wagon behind me, and turned around and put my hands behind my back. They took me in where I acted like a badass telling them I was getting my lawyer and they slammed me in the wall and let me go. I still got a citation for public drunkenness. I had a standoff where I climbed a fence to the post office and police were on the other side telling me to come back. The only thing I remember is climbing back over saying "I'm going to tear my sac." Fortunately, I was released with no problems. Final things, Yes I've patted Samuel Dalembert on the back and yes I've asked Freddie Mitchell if the 4th and 26th was the greatest play of his career (obviously). I don't even want to get into AC or strip club stories.

This is the amazing part. These are the only things that are crazy enough that stick in my memory as completely ridiculous! Think about it. I've been drinking for almost 8 years now. Lets says 400 weekends. 800 days of drinking heavily. I have hardly ever taken a weekend off and very rarely do I not drink to intoxication. These few events out of 800 potential nights are the only bad things that that have happened to me. True, I've had numerous incidents where I've scraped my knees or bruised my elbows but that amount of incidents is impressive to me with regards to the amount of scenarios.

Assuming my mom knows all this, most of which she does, certainly not all, and I tell her I can barely take care of myself, now you know what I'm talking about. I have no significant other, but when I get old and I tell the next generation my stories. My stories aren't what a rousing game of Yahtzee last night. I have some interesting ones and I can say that I lived life the best that I could. I stay in shape and work 5 days a week to survive.

Hope you enjoyed reading, the autobiography will be out next year. Leave a comment if you want to pre-order.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Gym Rant

I don't particularly like going to the gym, however, when it's cold I don't like exercising outside. Therefore, I have to put up with other peoples poor gym etiquette. I will explain what not to do when you go to the gym.

- Do not work out in a polo. This applies mainly to those older type males. I refer to collared t-shirts as polos just for the record. These shirts are meant for casual wearing, not working out. Not to mention they make you look like an idiot. Considering I don't think anyone over 26 reads this blog it should not apply to anyone.

- Do not sit on the machine forever if you are not using them. This really, really bothers me. Everyone has this one machine which is there favorite. I like this one ab machine where you put your hands above you and pull down, plus lift your legs at the same time. For some reason this machine is a magnet for overweight, out of shape people who love to rest. If you aren't going to use the machine in the next minute get the fuck off of it.

- A secondary function to the rule above is that you don't crowd around multiple machines. I know for some people the gym is social hour. When you have 4 people yucking it up around 3 different machines you make me feel like a dick if I have to ask you to break up the circle jerk so I can use the machine. Talk in an open space if necessary.

- If it's really crowded there should be no walking allowed on the treadmills. I obviously know I'm a beast on a treadmill and I don't expect everyone to be as good as me. BUT (It's ok to start sentences with but if it's capitalized, not lowercase) if you are going to put the setting on 2.0 I have news for you, WALK AROUND THE GODDAMN GYM! I don't care where you go but there are other places you can walk around other than a treadmill.


On a side note, I was at the gym today which obviously spurred this post, and some bro fainted on an elliptical. The machine hits the person next to his and he falls to the ground full sweat. A crowd gathers around to observe, i'm obviously looking to swipe a treadmill from an observer, an someone says that the guy is having a seizure. Well the whole place erupts and starts freaking out to call the paramedics. I was happy because of the diversion and all of the treadmills that just opened up. Nevertheless, the guy was fine and tragedy averted.

One more side note. I was shaving today and had to shave my adams apple. I'm not sure if it's just me or what but I cannot shave that area without nicking myself. Is there a razor specifically designed for that area because every time I have to do so, I get this really uneasy feeling that I'm going to slice my jugular. Plus, I had this tiny nose hair that I decided was a good idea to shave with my razor. Well turns out it wasn't. I put the blade in my nose and did a quick thrust. Well I nicked the outside of my nostril and if you've never done it before the motherfucker does not stop bleeding. I had a paper towel on there for 15 minutes, this is when I was on my way to the gym, and then it bled again for another 10 minutes in the gym. I had to act like a retard with a paper towel constantly wiping away the droplets. It sounds gross and actually was but I was careful not to get it over anywhere.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

24, bball, and bball

Let's start with 24. The females in this show are really pissing me off. First off they have billy's girlfriend whose nose looks like it was cut off by the saigon whore from dirty work. The president is an emotional, clueless wreck and I pray to god no one ever votes for a female president after this display of pussiness. Renee has got to stop being such a crybaby. She was going to shoot Jack? Give me a break. She was cried when Martika, the person who sang Toy Soldiers, almost exploded and then again when Rosa was whining like a baby. Chloe constantly bothers me with her know it all attitude. All in all the episode was pretty good. Billy didn't seem very hurt when he shot himself in the arm, just a flesh wound I guess. And the president trusts Bill Buchanan with her life after he just spawned from homeless people. He was driving a blue truck helping bauer escape from the FBI just a couple hours ago and now he's the most honorable man to ever live. Dubaku is a clown. No one would ever be trying to get pussy instead of exiting the country when you have the whole FBI on your ass. I though that was retarded and now we get to see more ridiculousness next episode.

Our bball team won last night which makes us 5-2. It was a blowout and nothing really to write.

If you didn't see the devin harris play last night you should watch it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKcFZvqEXjM
I still haven't figured out how to embed the video but eventually.
Taking from a blog comment
"All I can say is Devin Harris is definitely the fastest man in the world if he can catch the ball at the free throw line, run to half court, bump into Iguodala, lose control of the ball, regain control of the ball and get the shot off in 1.8 seconds. Watch out Usain Bolt, Devin Harris is going to get you in 2012. Helps to be on a home court in a time like that i guess.."

I installed Vista after my Xp got a trojan and I had to install all this antimalware and shit so I just started fresh.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Obama

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . TheUnited Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , andRussia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America .. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Seat Belt



I always thought that this picture looked like a jockey on a horse.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bball

Due to unusual circumstances we ended up having only 4 regulars and my 17 year old brother for our bball game. We ended up losing because we started out in zone only to allow some schmuck to make 6 threes. We were down at the half and never really made any good runs. I missed easy shots and got the shit blocked out of me. My brother got a shot blocked twice on the same play. Meaning someone blocked him and then someone blocked the block. It's honestly embarrassing to lose to a team we should have beat but at this point crying about it doesn't change anything. Having shitty ass players act cocky makes me want to jump kick the entire team. For example, the one in street fighter where Zangief does his double legged jump kick. Or do some flying headbutt like Skate in Streets of Rage 2. Bottom line is we lost and I hate losing. My brother did sink a 3 ball from the utmost corner of the court and managed to hit the rim 5 times before going in.

I beat guitar hear on hard last night and 4 starred On the road again which proves i'm improving. Fucking Snatch Boogie took me an hour to beat but at least I didn't have to watch Travis Barker drum solo for a minute each time like in Hot for Teacher. I'm not the sole person who thinks this but Guitar Hero is ruining classic songs by having them overplayed. I hear songs on the radio from gh and know that I would never have heard this song if it wasn't in the game. Then again it does shot you good songs that you would never have heard of like feel the pain from dinosaur jr and pull me under by dream theater. I will beat expert however I feel like this will take awhile.

I took 3rd in a 27 18man last night. Pretty much played flawlessly and got it with kk vs AQ (my kk) vs the cl or else I would have won the tourny. I'm not playing that much and need to reinstall windows so I can re download poker office and get it running again. I've been playing without a hud recently and don't think it effects my performance that much but it will be nice to have. I guess I'll just buy Vista and upgrade.

I've been listening to this song carol brown from flight of the conchords and think it's really good. I would embed (sp?) the video but I'm a noob so here's the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cGoDns8wTA

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tuesday

I thought the 24 was a really good episode. Other than Martika's side plot with Dubaku it is pretty entertaining. The mole inside the FBI makes it interesting. I'm not going to spoil anything but it was a good episode.

I've been playing Guitar Hero lately due to the lack of anything better to do. The game makes me want to smash things but I still like it.

I haven't been playing much poker or gambling so no new news.

The flight of the conchords was really good on Sunday and it could be the best show on TV.

I made some money on Sirius today but it's only money that i've lost so I'm not really sure it's making money. Market is getting slaughtered and it just seems like it isn't going to get better any time soon.

Other than that things are moving by week after week.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Recap

I haven't posted in a while so I'll do a double. This first will tell about what I've been doing. The 2nd about what I'm thinking. Notice I wrote out first but used 2nd.

We lost the Ambler Y bball game to some yellow bullshit. Actually they were pretty good but we played pretty poor. I blew a layup or two and we let 2 guys probably drop 50 on us. We also won a meaningless game on Wednesday. Down to only 1 league. I have the Oreland summer league coming up and will probably sign up for the sports club league in Manayunk.

I haven't watch Bauer yet. I honestly don't even find the urge to. I'm not sure but I think the idea of Jack saving the world again is getting a bit old for me.

A while ago, my brother threw a remote at the couch and the batteries came out and cracked the shield in front of the TV screen. He was playing Guitar Hero at the time and I always wondered how he could get that mad. Cue On the Road Again by Willie Fucking Nelson. I'm by no means an expert, in fact i play it on hard, and I was playing guitar on this song. I have no problems beating the song however I wanted to get 4 stars on it. After an hour an a half of playing and fucking up the intro an unbelievable amount of times I was understanding how the TV has a crack in it now. Seriously the red, yellow, yellow-blue, over to green is giving me fits and I will destroy it this weekend. If I have to spend night and day to 4 star this I will not give up. Call me a noob if you want but I'm not joking.

Nothing else really happened this week. I watched fotc and rock of love bus but I don't see any reason for recap. I've been trying to find a case of Great Lakes but no one around here carries it. Back in Pitt, Mellingers had it and they also had a beer called boont which I used to love. I'm on a hunt for it so if anyone reads this and has seen it let me know. I have no valentine however it's probably a good weekend to make moves on distraught females without one.

Thoughts

I do not believe in god.

I believe that I am insignificant. I most likely believe that you are insignificant.

People who believe in god do so because they fear what happens if they don't believe in god.

People who believe in god like to think that there is an afterlife. I believe that you rot in the ground soulless.

God doesn't make things happen. People make things happen. When people at award shows and after sporting events "thank god" they are really just thanking themselves for the hard work they put in to accomplish something.

God created the universe? From Family Guy, "then who created god? Maybe he created himself. Or herself." Bottom line is that the origin of time is a huge mystery. Something started something from nothing. Although I guess even nothing is something.

Point of this post:
Live life. Get drunk. Spend wildly. Do swampdonkies (torch).

I've gotten old(er). It's funny because at each point in your life you think your as smart as you can be. Then you look back and you think how you missed out on different aspects of life that you can never go back. Reference the Eddie Money song I wanna go back. I wish I could do college again. It's 4 years of partying. Sure I partied but not to the extent I would have after working for 4 years now.

Working sucks. I'm spending the good years of my life selling people hand tools. Sad thing is I'll spend the next 30 years of my life selling hand tools. (Our sales are down buy something (www.stortz.com). I want to move to Amsterdam and spend my time in the red light district and smoking herb. Problem is everything gets old after it gets played out. Sure I can say that I don't want to do anything and just spend my days getting hammered. After a couple of days doing it you feel awful and need to be productive.

Sometimes you just have to take a step back and view things from a wide perspective. I like the winter nights because the stars are always easy to see and make you realize how tiny and insignificant your life is to the grand scheme of things. I'm not making any history books so my purpose should be to be happy about everything.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Vegas

Left on Monday at around 11 am. No problems in the airport. I get seated in the middle next to a fairly attractive 30 something mom and a 50+ plus 275 lb behemoth. The milf is studying neurons and the fat man is trying to sleep. I can't put my arm on the arm rest because fat man is hogging all the room. I pretty much snooze in an out of the 5 hour ride.

Arrive at the Mandalay Bay, get something to eat and then clean up. JC, my dad, brought some cash and wants to play blackjack. My philosophy was not to play early so that I wouldn't lose any cash and bum myself out for the rest of the trip. JC sits at a table my himself. He buys in for 500. While he's buying in Big Bertha and Baby Huey sit down next to him. Bertha buys in and Huey doesn't want to play but Bertha forced him in. Clueless man in seat 1 joins the fun. JC plays a couple hands and clueless man is one of those don't bust type of people. This obviously annoyed JC and he left after 4 hands or so down a hundo or so. He moves to another table with a bro in seat 1 and him. Starts off running ok and picks up a hundo or so. JC is what is known as a plunger. Meaning he isn't their for the long term he either gets up big or goes busto. One hand he has 250 out and gets 22 against a dealer 6. Splits them, gets a 7 on one hand, doubles for 19. Gets 18 on the other hand. Dealer busts and JC makes a quick 500. Plunge for a k. Wins. Puts out another k, gets an 11, doubles for 21 and picks up 2k. He probably played a few more hands I can't really recall exactly but he ended up winning 4k in about 15 minutes. Pays for the trip assuming he doesn't blow it, big assumption. We have a few drinks, walk around Mandalay Bay and call it a night.

Wake up early, go to a National Slate Association Meeting and then walk the show for a couple of hours. We meet up with a manufacturer we know and go to the HofBrauHaus. It is a German restaurant with 34 oz beers and people are singing German tunes and everyone is basically just getting bombed. After that we go to see Criss Angels "believe" show at the Luxor. It was pretty good although I feel like if you were on LSD or shrooms it would have been unbelievable. The dancing is kind of weird and his jokes were lame but nevertheless it was entertaining. Was it worth 150 dollars per seat, ehh. After that we stay up to 3 or so just drinking and discussing money making strategies.

Final night I wake up and do the roofing show again till about 5. One booth has a keg with Flat Tire, I think it's brewed in Colorado, and it's very good. So I probably down about 6 or so during the show. After the show we go to a bar where I drink 2 gin and tonics and get a 12 dollar shot of Patron. We go back to the room and I pass out till 11pm. Wake up shower and hit a 1-2 NL table. I buy in for 300 and observe the table. No real big stacks and open raises are to 20+. Guy next to me bet 50 dollars into a 6 dollar pot one time just to give an idea. Maybe only 1 solid player other than myself. I pick up KK and make it 15, get 2 callers. C bet on a low flop wins it. I pick up AT hearts and make it 10 from UTG. Get 6 callers. Flop KJ6 2 hearts. I make it 40 and get one caller. Brick on the turn, I check, caller checks. River completes my flush. I think / act for a minute and make it 75. Genius pushes and has me covered which I obviously instacall, like so fast I felt like a prick. So I double up to about 600. One other hand I have 10 8 and limp. Flop and open ender where I call a 15 bet on the flop with 2 other players. Turn the nuts. I just call a bet from a donkey in front of me. He pushes the river which once again I obviously instacall. I ended up cashing out with 550 after I started to catch a buzz from 6 Heineken's in a 3 hour period.

So it's 2am and I'm not tired so let me hit the blackjack tables. I join a table by myself and a couple of people join. Some fairly attracted "actress" from LA who I was chatting it up with although she didn't last long. I bought in for 300 and was down to 125. I won my case bet and ended up pushing that to about 600 until one key hand. I had 100 out and 77 against a dealer 5, which I split. My next to cards were 3's on both hands so I doubled both of them. My double cards were a 3 and a 2 which I'm thinking, fucking awesome. Dealer busts and I pick up a nice 400 hand. I run my stack up to about 1400 or so and cash out. As I am walking back I catch a glimpse of a roulette table and think what the hell. I put 100 on black, lose. I try another 100 on black, lose. Obviously Vegas is smart for creating a single chip for 500 dollars and I test my luck on black again, lose. So after a 700 downswing I hit the bar at 430 in the morning and do a patron shot. I'm pretty bombed at this point after the shot and probably another 6 beers while playing blackjack and have to wake up at 8 the next morning. So I go back to the blackjack table and blow another hundred or two and call it a night.

All in all, I didn't lose any money and my dad came out a winner so it was a good trip. I didn't visit any strip clubs and no hookers. Maybe next time.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Some Thoughts

Obama appoints Timothy Geithner as Secretary of Treasury. Geithner had not paid $35,000 in self-employment taxes for several years. The mistakes were "avoidable" and "unintentional". He filed using TURBO TAX and blames the software for not being able to handle his returns. Notice, he received nearly a half million dollar severance payment for his work with the fed some years back.

Wall street had paid out 18.4 billion dollars in bonuses in 08'. Obama called this "the height of irresponsibility" and "shameful". "There will be a time for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses, now is not the time." Is something wrong here? Obama finds these bonuses wrong, however, he appoints Geithner to SECRETARY OF TREASURY. The guys uses TURBO TAX to pay his taxes and receives huge bonuses. What kind of a nitwit can't spend a few extra bucks to get his taxes done properly unless he is hiding something. Am I missing something here?

Enough Political BS. I'm going to continue the Friday entry on annoying things (or things I just generally don't like) in this universe.

People who walk slow - I don't think I walk the sidewalk at high speeds. I can't stand when I get a group of people slowly waddling along. When this occurs then you have to go in a high speed power walk to pass so they don't impede your progress. It looks foolish and wastes precious energy. Plus, then you have to be aware of head on's against oncoming traffic.

Most annoying songs - Here is a list of songs that when they come on they should be changed.
I love rock and roll by Joan Jett
Another piece of my heart by Janis Joplin
Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin
Womanizer by Britney Spears
Leavin by Jesse McCartney

These are just a few that come to mind but I wouldn't mind if they were erased off the face of the earth. On a side note, even though I don't like too many female artists, I think Sheryl crow has some good music.

The dryer - I'm no expert at doing laundry. I don't separate whites from colors. I'm cool with the washer. Put in the detergent, run the cold water, and let it wash. Now the dryer is a different story. The thing shrinks everything. The more times I wash certain clothes, the smaller they get. Is this a universal thing or am I just inept?

That's all I got till next week. I'll try to get some pictures from Vegas.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Life Update

I feel like when people don't post for a couple of days they always say it's because they are too busy. This is certainly not the case for me. Yes I work 5 days a week, 4 this week, but I could easily put in the time to post about random stuff. Instead I like to get backed up and make a bunch of posts at one time. I'll roll through my weekly routine of stuff I did and watched over the past couple days and give my thoughts.

2 bball games this week. We went 1-1 blowing one non white team out by 40 and getting blown out by another team by 20. Against the non white team we opened up the game with a 20-0 lead. Comments were made that it was similar to the girls team demolishing the special team 100-0. No real entertaining stories except one of our players got a technical when we were up 20 to zip, nice. The other game was against a good team who had a Chet Stachitas who was a pretty good player for St Joes a couple of years back. The other players on his team were solid too and we really didn't stand a chance. Bake set the line at 19 to start the game and Jkash had a 3 ball at the end that would have covered but we ended up losing by 21, playing them evenly the 2nd half when their motivation dropped.

I watched Money Train over the weekend and although not a great movie for some reason I think Woody Harrelson is a really entertaining actor. He is such a white goober southern hick that I find him amusing. I'm not so big on Wesley Snipes and for some reason I can't stand J Lo.

If you aren't aware Jessica Simpson is getting fat.


If you need to wear a double belt to keep your stomach in... I'm not going to knock her for being fat but considering the way she used to look this is a blow to male magazines.

I'll run through my TV watching quickly. Rock of Love Bus is down to 9 people. My new favorite girl is Ashley. She has a good attitude of sabotaging the other girls and trying to win the competition. There's something about her demeanor which I find appealing.

I thought 24 was pretty good this week. Watching this show in 1 hour (40 minute) doses is difficult. I can hardly even remember what happened but then I think back and only 40 minutes happened so not much did happen. Huh. Walker lived, the only attractive character died, and Bauer is calling the shots. Next.

I like Flight of the Conchords. I find the dialog as good as ever. They may be stretching for ideas in some spots but I don't really care. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtbQaJzZh1k

Honestly that pretty much wraps up the last week or so. I'll post more in the future. I'm on a downward spiral in poker but I have a feeling that this will be changing shortly. Down about 600 in 3 weeks. However, I picked up some nice gains on yhoo, bidu, and ge yesterday only to give back a lot today. I'm thinking of going radical and making a big play on the price of OIL. And I'm going to put a hefty wager on GSP to take down BJ Penn on Sat. Then once GSP owns I'll put the winnings on the Steelers -7. I dislike the Steelers and am scared of Warner, maybe i'll reconsider this decision. Vegas on Monday for a tradeshow.