Gym Rant

I don't particularly like going to the gym, however, when it's cold I don't like exercising outside. Therefore, I have to put up with other peoples poor gym etiquette. I will explain what not to do when you go to the gym.

- Do not work out in a polo. This applies mainly to those older type males. I refer to collared t-shirts as polos just for the record. These shirts are meant for casual wearing, not working out. Not to mention they make you look like an idiot. Considering I don't think anyone over 26 reads this blog it should not apply to anyone.

- Do not sit on the machine forever if you are not using them. This really, really bothers me. Everyone has this one machine which is there favorite. I like this one ab machine where you put your hands above you and pull down, plus lift your legs at the same time. For some reason this machine is a magnet for overweight, out of shape people who love to rest. If you aren't going to use the machine in the next minute get the fuck off of it.

- A secondary function to the rule above is that you don't crowd around multiple machines. I know for some people the gym is social hour. When you have 4 people yucking it up around 3 different machines you make me feel like a dick if I have to ask you to break up the circle jerk so I can use the machine. Talk in an open space if necessary.

- If it's really crowded there should be no walking allowed on the treadmills. I obviously know I'm a beast on a treadmill and I don't expect everyone to be as good as me. BUT (It's ok to start sentences with but if it's capitalized, not lowercase) if you are going to put the setting on 2.0 I have news for you, WALK AROUND THE GODDAMN GYM! I don't care where you go but there are other places you can walk around other than a treadmill.


On a side note, I was at the gym today which obviously spurred this post, and some bro fainted on an elliptical. The machine hits the person next to his and he falls to the ground full sweat. A crowd gathers around to observe, i'm obviously looking to swipe a treadmill from an observer, an someone says that the guy is having a seizure. Well the whole place erupts and starts freaking out to call the paramedics. I was happy because of the diversion and all of the treadmills that just opened up. Nevertheless, the guy was fine and tragedy averted.

One more side note. I was shaving today and had to shave my adams apple. I'm not sure if it's just me or what but I cannot shave that area without nicking myself. Is there a razor specifically designed for that area because every time I have to do so, I get this really uneasy feeling that I'm going to slice my jugular. Plus, I had this tiny nose hair that I decided was a good idea to shave with my razor. Well turns out it wasn't. I put the blade in my nose and did a quick thrust. Well I nicked the outside of my nostril and if you've never done it before the motherfucker does not stop bleeding. I had a paper towel on there for 15 minutes, this is when I was on my way to the gym, and then it bled again for another 10 minutes in the gym. I had to act like a retard with a paper towel constantly wiping away the droplets. It sounds gross and actually was but I was careful not to get it over anywhere.